I was a kid
With no care of what you went through during your bid in the books
I know emotions spilled over the lid
And I wish I could take back all of the things that I did
All of the time that I grew tired of being inside
All of the times I wanted more than what my mom could provide
If it meant that all the guilt and the pain wouldn’t be harvested
I wear I’d take it back to the moment it all started
Then I’d stomach all the boredom I felt
And understand you had to take a lot of time for yourself
I promise I’d wait; make an effort to end my issues
Knowing that later on I’d get to spend time with you
’Cause now, the only flashbacks in my head
Are the men in suits yelling “you’re the reason she’s dead”
And at the same time, I’m countin’ the days that I am going to
Keep myself inside this room ‘til I can join you
Away from everybody else
So I won’t be the reason behind every single time I threw a fit
And people might forget I exist
But when it comes to their life, at least they can’t say I ruined it
It’s not that I’m not able to stay calm
I just have nothing left from only wanting my mom
And if I did join you, would you still see me as a nuisance?
Do I really have no room for improvement?
If the both of us go where there’s no ground beneath her,
Does than mean I’m of no use in death either?
Is that how it’s supposed to be wherever I arrive?
And would it be the same if my mom was alive after her work?
All I know is nothing ever compares
To the days when my mother was there
It’s all my fault
I miss the days when my mother was there